My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
