I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
