I'm jealous of your bromance
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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