dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
