dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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