What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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