I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
