Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I need to calm my uterus...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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