I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize