I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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