Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
it glows. i had to have it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
