ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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