The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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