Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize