Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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