A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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