You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
