you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
