I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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