there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
