So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize