i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She bit a glass in half.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
