Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
