high people should be assigned attendants
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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