It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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