Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
