these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
