This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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