You're so nebulous sometimes
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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