i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
