that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
