john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Randomize
