So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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