But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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