well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize