the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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