I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
