buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
