bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
