38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
