I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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