dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
