If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
