just tell him i said nine months
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
