That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
