I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I pour the whiskey from now on
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
