I just saw a hot homeless man
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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