super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
