Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
