you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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