Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
