He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
