I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
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