we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
