no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
