the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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