like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
