Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
