I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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