You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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